Love finds you indeed, when you are not looking...

Today is one of those days, where everything around me seems to have a piece of you in it.

I released a laugh this morning, as I used your towel to dry myself, not because I wanted to do it like you, but because at that moment I imagined you doing it, and then played it out.

Rides to work seem empty, with your voice echoing in my head as I recall the conversations we have had.

But why do I Love this man, I think.
First answer is, it's impossible not to Love you, you are everthing to Love.

But why Sindie, what is it about him that makes you Love with no boundaries?

My mind (soul, I don't know exactly what is speaking to me) laughs and says, It's because he is God's reflection of your ability to Love.

As the driver talks and makes his way to work, I am completely lost in my thoughts. Thoughts of you fill my head. You make me want to write Love filled poems, pages and pages of it.

I never write about Love, I used to be so bitter towards it. I failed it so many times, that instead of blaming myself, I blamed Love itself. Oh what a selfish thing to do, for Love does not change, people change.

Then he came, and shook the hell out of me and in the process showed me Love.

This is how He makes me feel:

If ever there is a man who Loves me completely, it shows in every way possible, it has to be You!

Sincere when you look at me, Sensitive when you touch me.

Soothing when you speak to me, Sensational when you kiss me.

Colour explodes from deep inside me, sends shades that paint me with sweet smelling colour filled scents of Love.

Colour!

But why put it that way?

Because at this very moment, and explosion of colour is what you are to me.

You came in and painted my Life Alive! Gosh! Now I Live. Apart from Living without you, I Live in the thought of having you.

He holds my hand, I swear he wants everbody to know This is Love.

I wriggle my hands out of his, uncomfortable, I am not used to public displays of affection.

Hahahaha do you think my man stops? He then wraps his arms around my waist, if not my neck. I have to get used to this, I tell myself as I watch time go to a standstill.

This man Loves me, he really does.

It's in the way he holds me, how he touches me, how he talks to me, how he watches me, how he listens when I talk, how he laughs even when I am not funny, how he is always taking photo's of me in my sometimes crazy poses, in how he watches me sleeping...

I pray...

I whisper prayers everyday for us.

I pray I Live for you, I pray I Live with you.

I pray you hold me fastened to your heart, I pray I never hurt you.

I pray you never stop smiling at me, I pray sincerity never leaves you.

I pray we Live to walk down the isle, with God as our Witness.

I pray I Live to give birth to your Seed(s).

I pray we never part, I pray I never stop Loving you.

For it is clear to me, you are part of God's plan for my Life.

I want the whole world to know, a good man has found me, and I Love him!

Try something new!

So, why do we Live?
We are concieved, born, grow up, go to school, start working, make friends, grow old
then die, right?
Well, yes, but why does it have to be completely like that, order and all?

See, I think living is more than just living.
They say that you Live once, so Live everyday
like it is your last.
We say, what is Life if you cannot mess up everything, even the natural order of it.
Benjamin Button did it, he was born an old man, and lived his life in reverse, then died a baby!
Weird I know, but the concept fascinates me.

So in my road to a fulfiling Life, I sternly believe that trying out new things is very
important. Expand your horizons for Gawd's sake.
Live a little, take those things that make you shy and do them.
Experience life as it is supposed to be, eventful.

Guess what, all these years I have been despising manicures! My friends and

family know that I want nothing to do with them, period. I cannot grasp the concept.
And yes, as you might have guessed, I was not talking from experience.
I just judged it, no need for me to know.
Then this happened!
Voila!

Shocking, I know.

But I decided to Live a little, do something I have never tried before.

Just because I can.

I did it, I just told that lady to give me a manicure, and she did.

OOOOOOhhhhhhh my hands look much better, even if I have to say so myself!

I love water, I really do, especially sea water. I waddle around at the beach a lot.

I have a secret though, I cannot swim, and I avoid pools by all means possible.

Becasue obviously I will drown!

I heard my friends boyfriend say hes going swimming, and without thinking of it, grabbed my swimsuit! I will cross the bridge when I get there is what I told myself.

Cross that bridge I did, found myself inside a pool, trying to swim.

Almost drowned, but hey, I tried. I did something that scares me, plus it was new. I have never swam in a pool before.

So what I am trying to say is, Live a little!

It does not hurt to try something new, exciting, and scary.

It is amazing the amount of fulfiment and happiness you get from doing it.

Make that fantasy of yours come true, go bunjee jumping, do whatever, Live!

After all, you only have one Life, and honey you are not growing any younger.

Go on tiger, knock em' dead!

Re-Awakening...

So, this guy on Facebook reminds me that I have a blog, and that I have not blogged in such a long time! I was shocked! Not because he noticed, but because I had forgoted about one of the most important things I do with my time, writing!

Trust that I have good reasons for being so scarce, I was going through very hard times. When they say life has seasons, trust that they are right! It was my season of suffering, I withstood the storm and found myself in sunshine again. After almost a year of challenges, trials, falls, pain, and tears back and forth.

If you think being unemployed is hard, try being unemployed and surviving in Joburg. With no income, no home, no family, no friends (except one) and no food. I went through it all! One will ask me, but why did you not just pack your bags and go home? The answer is: It was not time yet.

I knew it, my family knew it, my boyfriend and best friend knew it. They wondered everyday why I kept holding on to this idea, and I told them that I am no ordinary human being, failure does not make up part of my composition, and they best believe!

Out of that time, the biggest lesson that I learnt was that, God answers all our prayers! No question about it! I found strength that I did not know I possessed, I became focused, composed and hungry to be the best that I can be. I found friends, in the most unlikely of people, I found additional love in people who loved me anyway. I found this Angel, whom I have known for ten years, who wasnt my biggest friend, but she opened up her life for me. She gave me a home, she loved me, she gave me food, she gave me an emotional refuge, she gave me herself. My friend!

I have been re-awakened!

Come on this journey with me, a new journey...

Word Cup Xperience

We bid for it, we won the bid. We prepared for it, we were on track with most of the infrastructer. We prepared to host, we are looking successful in hosting it!

Ke Nako! Tis time!

Honestly, I was not interested in the Soccer World Cup, well err not until I got a job to intern at the Fifa Fan Festivals in Sandton.

Then it hit me, Philip was here, I felt him.

Just three days before kick off.

I started my hasty collection of W/C memorabilia, my room is looking good I must say.

I came, I am seeing, looking forward to conquering.

I have met so many new people, making unlikely friends and foes, shouting at the top of my voice, rolling on the grass, blowing the Vuvuzela, and well, I'l admit, perving these cute international (and national) brothers.

So, though this experience is still happening, its only been seven days, I look forward to the days to follo, because it is going to be awesome!

Here's some pictures....

unfortunately, None of my pictures want to upload. So till next time!

Free_Dom_(ination)

Been a long while since I penned my blog, and the plan was that I would write every
day and post images with everything.
But Life does not always do what we want it to do.
Some time back, we were 'celebrating' freedom.
Since that day, I have not been able to get this one word out of my mind.
FREEDOM!
So what is this freedom?
.......
honestly, I have no idea!

If free_dom could be defined (besides what it has become, norm), I think each and every one of us would have his/her own way of interpreting it.

To me FREE_DOM is:
Living
Loving
Breathing
Awakening
Smiling
Singing
Writing
Making Love
Touching
Thought
Words
Water
Air
Earth
Fire
God
&
Me!

Am I not my hair?

India Arie sang it, she is not her hair (and she mentioned all other things too).
I remember while growing up, me mother did all these crazy stunts(hairstyles) on my hair, and I used to hate erry one of them.
Getting older, my hair started being an intergral part of my identity.
See I was a tomboy, so you can imagine the mess in my head.
That was until I decided to abandon all chemicals and be 'natural'.

Started my dreads, my parents hated it.
I stood my ground, tho I knew it was hurting them.
After all, this was about me, not them.
My identity, not theirs.
Yes they layed the foundation, but they could not stop me from being my own person.

So, as they feared, my hair did become controversial.
I smoke weed, every stranger believes.
I say stuff that steriotype.
Yes my hair is part of my definition, but No, it does not create who I am.

I will shave it off, one day.
Then, I wonder to myself, will my definition have an error?

Mothering is timeless...

My dog Smokey gave birth to a litter of puppies before I came home.

When I heard the news, I was over the moon!
See, my dog is very special.
They did something to her because my Dad ddnt want here to have puppies.
Guess how many times she's given birth after that....
Well....err I have lost count.

Meet Dimples, he cannot see yet. That's how young they are.
I am not sure if hes a he or if shes a she.
Heck, they all look the same for a change!
Smokey seems to have stuck to one boyfriend (I'm proud of you Smokes!).

This brought about to me the concept that 'mothering is timeless'.
I watch her almost everday, feeding, taking care of her babies...
and I think to myself, why is it so hard for some humans to do the
same thing?
I mean, Smokey is a dog, yet she has excelled in the job 'mothering'.
Most of her past puppies have died, been taken away, some dissapeared with thieves in the night!
But my dog never fails to mother her puppies, its like she Lives on. On the the next litter...

Meet Smokey and her babies!
p.s: She chose to use the 'ubuhlanti (krall)' as her den. Dogs!

So...

So I woke up this morning, looked out the window and was greeted by a different view, from what I am used to.
Quiet!
You would swear the town is asleep.
I then remembered my thoughts on blogging, and I suddenly felt the urge to answer them all.
Yes I want to keep a blog.
Yes I will maintain it without getting bored.
I want to keep a blog, because, well....I CAN!

This song was on my mind, as I awoke: India Arie - I know G_d is real.

Late awakening...

So, I got me thinking....

What is a blog, why do people blog, why would I like to keep one, can I maintain it without getting bored? Shooo, all sortsa questions are rapping up and down in my mind (I can almost hear my Journalism lecturer asking me the same questions, which I did not have answers for at that time, blame it on ignorance).

So, when I do think of answers to this one, I will gladly tell you. Today, about two years later, I am still ignorant to blogging. Taking time out to think, it might help a little, considering that theres no time to think with all this 'touch me on my studio', 'tjatjarag', julius malema, AWB and all the other nonsense happening and buzzing in peoples lips.

Now....let me go back to thinking!