To Lost Loves

Death is so final.

One moment you were here, then next moment all life gone from your body.
I cannot begin to understand the transition from life to living no more.
I try to make sense of it in my head, and nothing but finality exists.
A body that carried so much life reduced to nothing.
When breath parts and death starts.

Death's mark lives in the dreams that will never be fulfilled.
It is evident in the plans made that will never come to pass.
It is etched in our lives because everyday you no longer exist.
Death is always near because no day goes by without a thought of you.

Tragedy is life without you.
Loss is life without your voice.
Turmoil is life's milestones without you to witness.
Emptiness is going through life with your memory rusting to nothing everyday.

When death visits, and its poisonous words spoken...
A part of me leaves with it.
I cry because life will go on and things will fall back into place.
It will be like you were never present, merely a part that only lives in my heart (memory).

I am left to marvel at my memories that have you in it.
The hot summer days as kids we spent swimming in the blue pools in-front of your grans house,
The nights you would fight to sleep next to me, or sit next to me.
Your sweet face looking trustingly up to me as we crossed the road.
The silly fights you would have with my little sister.
I remember the young and mature lady you had grown into,
So beautiful your face caught my breath every-time.
Your laughter and the love that always was carried in your demeanor.

Not a day goes by without thinking of you.
Your beautiful face, radiant smile..
I remember how you used to share your wisdom with me.
In our younger years how you used to cheat me out of my food.
I remember how you used to introduce us to the latest technology...
How can I forget the semester trips to drop you off at university.
Oh my sister, and the day you got married.

Two lives that will never be, presence to never be felt again.
I ache at the loss of you in my life, so abrupt, both your lives cut so short.
Zenande, my heart.
Siviwe, my everything.

I miss you, life is not the same without you.
Lalani ngoxolo maMfene amahle, boLisa, boJambase.
Side sibuye sihlangane, ndohlala ndinithanda.